Then it hit me, drug dealing... I am gonna be a doctor anyways why not practice ahead of time right? Plus since I work in the emergency room and we have lots of people coming in seeking rehab I could get a a great client base going. And as it turns out there is lot more information on the internet (almost 4 milliion) on how to stop drug dealers than instructions like I would need. Well after some research I found out that there is a lot more to being a "street hardened criminal" than meets the eye. Besides, I don't even know what kind of drugs to sell, I was thinking something hardcore like Peruvian AK-47 or Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake. Yeah I know what you're thinking: "those aren't even real drugs" and you would be right. I could have tried to sell some hard drugs, but I'd have to sneak them over the border and I am not too good at swallowing things for muling.
Then I thought I might be able to patent something that hasn't been yet, the only thing is that patenting things is hard work. Here is a list of idea I have for patents and new products/services:
- Get high when down: Agency for getting coma patients high, if in CA we can bill your insurance. If successful we could start the offshoot Comatose LSD LLC. This actually might be a charity if I ever become rich... A man can dream.
- Stalker Stalkers (tm): Fighting fire with fire. Leaves "loving" messages and notes. Makes your stalker feel truly cared for, staffed by ex-cons (they know the law, they are scary, and they could use the good job reference). Additional online packages optional. Hiring strategic management, art and computer science majors a plus.
- Sinometer: Tells you how much you have sinned, comes in different models ranging from Muslim extremist(watch where you show those ankles!), Catholic (meat on friday=damnation), all the way up to Rastafarian(hey pass to the left, the LEFT).
- Cellphone Bluetooth Headset Jamming Device: Because I am tired of thinking that person is talking to their self. It is weird. Comes with optional shocking application.
- Kiddie Tranq Dart Gun (or possibly prod): I would call it "Nap NOW!" and market it to rich suburban soccer moms and it you can even accessorize it so it matches your Ipod and Blackberry. A combination insulin pump / remote control device may work too, substitute ketamine for the insulin. Id even carry one for annoying kids at the mall.
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